Funny Joke ‣ Doctor Memories

From a friend who works at Raigmore hospital some things that have gone on over the years, some of these are just too funny, hope you enjoy them.

First: A man comes into the ER and yells “My wife’s going to have her baby in the Taxi.”

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear.

Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

Second: At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.

“Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” Replied the patient.

Third: One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a “massive internal fart.”

Fourth: During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor,that he was having trouble with one of his medications.

“Which one?” I asked….”The patch.”

“The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!”

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see.

Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Fifth: While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked,”How long have you been bedridden?”

After a look of complete confusion she answered, “Why, not for about twenty years – when my husband was alive.”

Submitted by RN no name,