From a friend who works at Raigmore hospital some things that have gone on over the years, some of these are just too funny, hope you enjoy them.
First: A man comes into the ER and yells “My wife’s going to have her baby in the Taxi.”
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
Second: At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.
“Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” Replied the patient.
Third: One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a “massive internal fart.”
Fourth: During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor,that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
“Which one?” I asked….”The patch.”
“The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!”
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Fifth: While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked,”How long have you been bedridden?”
After a look of complete confusion she answered, “Why, not for about twenty years – when my husband was alive.”
Submitted by RN no name,