Funny Short Shopping Jokes

There are four funny shopping jokes. Good reading.

First: While I was working in the men’s section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.

When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs.

“I don’t know his size,” she said, “but my hands fit PERFECTLY around his neck.”

Second Joke: A man was waiting in the store for his wife who was trying on lingerie.

A saleslady came up to the man and asked, “Can I help you with anything?”

The man was very uncomfortable and nervous being there, so he blurted out, “Ahh… umm… do you have anything for men?”

The saleslady smiled and said, “Sir, everything here is for men!”

Third Joke: A local lumberyard was having an open house, and my mother really wanted to go. Dad, though, had no interest.

After badgering him with no luck, she finally said, “If you don’t go, I’ll be the only woman there.”

Dad shrugged. “If I go, you’ll still be the only woman there.”

Fourth Joke: A man and his wife were lying in bed the other night when he noticed she had bought a new book entitled, “What 20 Million American Women Want.”

He grabbed the book out of her hands and started thumbing through the pages.

His wife was a little annoyed. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

He calmly replied, “I just wanted to see if they spelled my name right.”